Rules of Hanging Out #3: Go ahead and have some fun (you won’t get fired/kicked out of school/broken up with/ evicted)

On this day I was supposed to go get my taxes done but the universe said "Fuck it!" and I did.  Rarely in New York does my life allow me the privilege of just bopping around for a day and I was not going to pass this up.  Plus my good buddy and PIC (partner in crime-a topic to be discussed later) Adee was visiting and we could all be dead tomorrow so let's make the best of it eh?   We started the day off with some breakfast at my house and then a pleasantly warm and sunny walk over to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens.  On the way grabbing ice coffees and I a cigarette which made me so happy that I stopped  walking and almost knelt on the side walk and prayed out loud to the creator to feel free to take me right in this moment because there was no way I could feel any better and I was satisfied.  Finally getting to the gardens (Tuesday is their free day by the way) Adee and I  as usual found ourselves laying in the grass mid rose garden staring at our surroundings, feeling the earth beneath us, pondering our existence in this realm and feeling refreshed.

Afterwards we headed up to Harlem to meet up with our friend Anna Luisa who had let us know about a work shop for teaching artists at the Studio Museum.  The Studio Museum is one of my favorite places in NYC and I was long over due for a visit.  The workshop was designed to provide project ideas for folks who work with young people and art related programs, which all three of us have done in the past.  The art project they had us do was making 45 album covers bearing in mind the theme of  "the soundtrack to your life".  It was really adorable to sit in a room doing an art project with all adults especially when everyone went around the room, sharing what they had produced and their fucking feelings! The whole experience really made me miss working with young people, it has been some years BUT afterwards a woman approached me about speaking with some students at her medical high school in Canarsie about the work I do.  Now that I am not a grad student, I am really trying to build meaningful connections in New York so it becomes home/community for me and my future life here that I am constructing in my head.  Which I realise sounds grossly sentimental when said out loud but it's true.  I am really looking forward to visiting the high school and all goes to show that it pays to hang out!

Our record covers

Two weeks after this good day I am finally going to go get my taxes done.  Is there some sort of late fee? I don't know and don't really care because in the end it will be okay.  I am not preaching irresponsibility (because I think having a sense of responsibility shows character) but a sense of balance and wisdom (also displays of character).  We all have things that need to get done and I know generally accepted wisdom dictates - "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today", however this must be applied to general good times as well not just tasks, errands and work.  Now go call in sick to something!

Rules of Hanging Out #2: Fake It Til You Make It

"Are you looking forward to this weekend?"- the very tall, bespectacled boy asked me, while he continued to bag my groceries.  I was feeling content this evening, buying food for the weekend and the young happy go lucky employees of this Downtown Brooklyn health food store were making me smile.

"Honestly- not really I have to work. How bout yourself?" He paused with my response and looked at me then continued bagging and I wasn't sure if he was pleased or disappointed in my answer.  He says, "Yes.  Because it's supposed to rain."  "Ah kindred spirit", I thought and then we shared how we were kinda bummed that it did not snow more this winter because we enjoy using snow as an excuse for our reclusive natures.  

I get it.  I really do.  Sometimes you just don't want to be around people. You just can't attend one more family event where the conversation revolves around whose kid did what.  Or you can't hang out with your friends and try to respond to the question "What's up? How've you been?" yet again because what you have been up to is weird out of context or too hard to explain and it just falls like a dud into space.  These explanations of what everyone has been doing can begin to sound like boring laundry lists of activities that everyone is spinning in as we tick off the minutes to our certain death.  I fucking get it.  BUT remember those days you force yourself to hang out and you actually see something cool and you actually meet someone cool and you maybe even actually feel some spark in your chest that reminds you that you are indeed happy to be alive.   

Fake it till you make it.  Just sometimes you have to.  To maintain those bonds with people, friends , family, humanity, upholding your end of the bargain of existing on this earth as a human being.  

Rules of Hanging Out #1

Artist recreation of actual event, Rainbow Gathering 2005

#1 Always do things you would have never thought of doing, especially if you have an in

Since I brought it up, I thought I'd tell the story of my trip to the Rainbow Gathering (the very brief version).  I know, I know you are dying to know if people were on acid and naked, the answer is "duhhh" but surprisingly not as many as you think. I will not lie to you and pretend that I was not having fantasies before I arrived of becoming somehow liberated beyond my wildest dreams, running through fields naked, falling in love with some hot hippie boy all while random people dressed as animals put sugar cubes of acid in my mouth.  As usual with my fantasies, none of that occured because I was working.  The reason I was there was because I was in herb school and one of the "requirements" of the school was that we attend the Rainbow Gathering and volunteer at one of the clinics that serve the many members of the Rainbow Family.  Me and my fellow students had anticipated the trip our many months in school and it finally came.  This particular year (2005) the national gathering was in West Virginia.  The location of the gathering was bucolic and fantastic, full of bubbling creeks, wild flowers and fields of milkweed. As we hiked into the camp site we began to be greeted with the "Welcome Home" 's that I would learn is customary for the gathering. It made me feel super uncomfortable and I wasn't the only one.  Me and my punk classmates nervously laughed a little and wondered out loud how we should respond ("Umm thanks","Ditto"). There we were three punks at the hippiest gathering any of us had ever encountered.  It was a little overwhelming at first and by mid afternoon we felt the need to hide out.  So we found ourselves a little enclave under some pine and sprawled out on the soft forest floor that was covered with pine needles and moss.  We were already feeling pretty content out in these woods and were nestled with each other looking up into the sky.  Despite this feeling of content our snarky punkness was running rampant and two hours into our stay we were already full of critiques but then we collectively sighed and made a very important pact.  We came to terms with the fact that we were going to be here for several days no matter what. So then why hate every moment of it?  The pact was that we were not allowed to complain for the duration of our stay , not one word.  And If we wanted to hippie shit talk on the whole ride home then so be it but right then, right now we were just going to chill and take it in.  We had a fucking blast. We spent the next few days mending some twisted ankles, tending spider bites, settling upset stomachs and soothing drunken crusties.  But we had a lot of free time and it gave us a chance to run around this alternate world  and then report back to each other what we had seen by evening time.  The first evening we hiked through shin deep mud to reach the Fairy Camp and hang out with a bunch of generous and lovely drag queens and queers in the middle of the woods.  I mean seriously, that alone blew my mind, I would have gone home much satisfied with the whole Rainbow experience but I had many more inspiring moments over the days to come.

By the end of our stay I was actually sad to leave. I was going to miss waking up in the morning rested and breathing in the fresh air of the woods.  I was going to miss my hippie neighbor who I sneered at my first day when he asked if I needed help with my tent.  I had begun to look forward to his good mornings and another story from him about his twenty years of living within the Rainbow Gathering.  I was going to miss the purposefulness of tending after folks' minor wounds.  I was going to miss how gently the days ended and attending what ever random ass entertainment those crazy hippies had orchestrated for the evening. I was going to miss most importantly the food given freely and generously.  How the hell does that happen in the middle of the woods (sushi, calzones, deep fried snickers)?  The point is my in was I was required to be there for school but the in really was having two friends who were willing to make a pact to give something a chance that we would have never even thought of setting foot in a year before.   "Always do things you never thought of doing especially if you have an in", is taking up an opportunity that is there and is easy and then enjoying that chance to be somewhere different and be someone different.  

This upcoming weekend..... adventures on the Mehanata Gypsy Party Bus and a trip to a yurt on a horse farm.