Hang Out Type: The Parental Hang

As I was drifting off last night as my parents were watching Airplane because my mom felt our movie for the evening Ghost Dog was too dramatic and she needed to decompress, my dad teases me , "Don't worry we're almost gone".  I smiled a little but my agitation is clear to my dear folks who I feel a little guilty have spent their time and energy to come up to visit their grumpy daughter for the weekend.  Remember that post where I said I like to hang out because I love people, I was straight lying reader and I will do my best to be more honest with you in the future.  The art of hanging out is not about loving people all the time per se but rather of knowing how to find a balance between yourself, others and a lust for life.  I am trying to be more social these days but having two house guests who at the end of the day are a couple was a challenge as I am slowly pulling out of this period of reclusiveness.  I had to pause them a few times and remind them that I had not chosen to be in a relationship with them and therefore did not agree to hear conversations about who or who did not forget to pack dental floss.  And then there were those couple moments when they would do things for each other like get a glass of water, to remind me once again that I am not on a "team" but on my fucking own.  Despite my current mood which I am sure has to do with some planet or something, the type of mood when someone looks at me and says "I love you" I feel the urge to reply "Do ya?" instead of saying something nice back.  Despite this we had some good moments and just hung out.  I got to cook for them several times and they always enjoy my food and we always have fun joking about what I am going to do with them when they are old ("I'm looking for a nursing home in Central Florida off some crappy highway that has barbed wire fencing").  Also always in our time together I try to be as transparent as possible and drop not so settle reminders that I am an aspiring fringe member of society despite these incredible social skills G_d has blessed me with. As I looked at my parents with a smile on my face excitedly talking about the new book I bought about Sufi based meditations and they looked at me with a mix of interest and exasperation, I was reminded of when I was at the Rainbow Gathering once (another story for another day) and I said to my friend Amy looking out on a field of hippies, "Ya know what I see here? A bunch of disappointed parents."

Big sculpture, Little Mom

Parental hangs can be tough.  These are the crazy people who birthed you and raised you and have possibly instilled 95% of the insecurities and hang ups you have been spending a good part of your adult life trying to rid yourself of.  So no matter how much of a rad successful young adult you may be these fools can show up and dismantle all positive visions of yourself with a sentence.  Sigh. But what you have to do is smile through your teeth and say "So you do want to go to the Guggenheim today, si o no?" then remind yourself that they have their own baggage and probably hang ups related to you too that they are dealing with.  Do your best to avoid those topics you know there is no way in hell you are going to agree on and just try to find those cross over interests where you can find common ground.  My mom and I had a great afternoon looking at art work and a sweet little lunch with my buddy Mel. And who doesn't love a sunny afternoon traversing Prospect Park?  In the end you love each other and you are trying to just find that space where you can spend time and grasp on to those few moments of life you are sharing but also appreciate each other's individual paths that you are moving down on your own.  Like licking icing off your plate after that piece of cake, you're enjoying a remnant of something bigger and more substantial you once had but it's time to move on and put that dish in the sink and that's okay too.